January 15, 2021 | Maria Firkaly
January 15th is Singles Awareness Day, for those of us whose relationship goals include a healthy dose of self-love.
Whether you are new to being single or have embraced the lifestyle for some time, I hope you check out these titles.
“I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not defined by another person.” – Oscar Wilde
“Being brave enough to be alone frees you up to invite people into your life because you want them and not because you need them.” – Mandy Hale
Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone by Eric Klinenberg
Nonfiction
Available in print, large print, audiobook, digital audiobook, Hoopla audiobook
A revelatory examination of the most significant demographic shift since the Baby Boom – the sharp increase in the number of people who live alone – that offers surprising insights on the benefits of this epochal change. In 1950, only 22 percent of American adults were single. Today, more than 50 percent of American adults are single, and 31 million, roughly one out of every seven adults, live alone. People who live alone make up 28 percent of all U.S. households, which makes them more common than any other domestic unit, including the nuclear family. In Going Solo, renowned sociologist and author Eric Klinenberg proves that these numbers are more than just a passing trend. They are, in fact, evidence of the biggest demographic shift since the Baby Boom: we are learning to go solo, and crafting new ways of living in the process.
Klinenberg explores the dramatic rise of solo living, and examines the seismic impact it’s having on our culture, business, and politics. Though conventional wisdom tells us that living by oneself leads to loneliness and isolation, Klinenberg shows that most solo dwellers are deeply engaged in social and civic life. In fact, compared with their married counterparts, they are more likely to eat out and exercise, go to art and music classes, attend public events and lectures, and volunteer. There’s even evidence that people who live alone enjoy better mental health than unmarried people who live with others and have more environmentally sustainable lifestyles than families, since they favor urban apartments over large suburban homes. Drawing on over three hundred in-depth interviews with men and women of all ages and every class, Klinenberg reaches a startling conclusion: in a world of ubiquitous media and hyper-connectivity, this way of life can help us discover ourselves and appreciate the pleasure of good company.
Living Alone and Loving It by Barbara Feldon
Nonfiction
Available in print
After a relationship impasse, Barbara Feldon — universally known as the effervescent spy “99” on Get Smart — found herself living alone. Little did she know that this time would become one of the most enriching and joyous periods of her life.
Now Feldon shares her secrets for living alone and loving it. Prescribing antidotes for loneliness, salves for fears, and answers for just about every question that arises in an unpartnered day, she covers both the practical and emotional aspects of the solo life, including how to:
Stop imagining that marriage is a solution for loneliness * Nurture a glowing self-image that is not dependent on an admirer * Value connections that might be overlooked * Develop your creative side * End negative thinking
Whether you are blessed with the promise of youth or the wisdom of age, Living Alone & Loving It will instill the know-how to forge a life with few maps and many adventures.
How to Be Alone: If You Want To, and Even If You Don’t by Lane Moore
Nonfiction
Available in print
The former Sex & Relationships Editor for Cosmopolitan and host of the wildly popular comedy show Tinder Live with Lane Moore presents her poignant, funny, and deeply moving first book.
Lane Moore is a rare performer who is as impressive onstage—whether hosting her iconic show Tinder Live or being the enigmatic front woman of It Was Romance—as she is on the page, as both a former writer for The Onion and an award-winning sex and relationships editor for Cosmopolitan. But her story has had its obstacles, including being her own parent, living in her car as a teenager, and moving to New York City to pursue her dreams. Through it all, she looked to movies, TV, and music as the family and support systems she never had.
From spending the holidays alone to having better “stranger luck” than with those closest to her to feeling like the last hopeless romantic on earth, Lane reveals her powerful and entertaining journey in all its candor, anxiety, and ultimate acceptance—with humor always her bolstering force and greatest gift.
How to Be Alone is a must-read for anyone whose childhood still feels unresolved, who spends more time pretending to have friends online than feeling close to anyone in real life, who tries to have genuine, deep conversations in a roomful of people who would rather you not. Above all, it’s a book for anyone who desperately wants to feel less alone and a little more connected through reading her words.
What If This Were Enough? by Heather Havrilesky
Nonfiction
Available in print, e-book, digital audiobook
By the author of the New York Times Love and Relationships bestseller How to Be a Person in the World, an impassioned and inspiring collection about the expectations of modern life and the sweet imperfections of the everyday.
Heather Havrilesky’s writing has been called “whip-smart and profanely funny” (Entertainment Weekly) and “required reading for all humans” (Celeste Ng). In her work for New York, The Baffler, The New York Times Magazine, and The Atlantic, as well as in her advice column for The Cut, “Ask Polly,” she dispenses a singular, cutting wisdom–an ability to inspire, provoke, and put a name to our most insidious cultural delusions.
What If This Were Enough? is a mantra and a clarion call. In its chapters–many of them original to the book, others expanded from their initial publication–Havrilesky takes on those cultural forces that shape us. From the enforced cheer of American life to the celebration of survivalism, from the allure of materialism to our misunderstandings of romance and success, Havrilesky deconstructs some of the most poisonous and misleading messages we ingest today, all the while suggesting new ways we might navigate our increasingly bewildering world.
Through her incisive and witty inquiries, Havrilesky emphasizes the importance of locating the miraculous within the mundane. In these timely, provocative, and often hilarious chapters, she urges readers to embrace the flawed–to connect with what already is, who we already are, what we already have. She asks us to consider: What if this were enough? Our salvation, Havrilesky asserts, can be found right here, right now, in this imperfect moment.
Am I there Yet?: The Loop-de-loop, Zigzagging Journey to Adulthood by Mari Andrew
Nonfiction – Sequential Art, Graphic Novel
Adulting meets Hyperbole and a Half in this witty, starkly honest, and absolutely on-point book of essays and illustrations on the realities of growing up and finding yourself.
Mari Andrew started doodling when she worked at a bakery–she took some license with the display case labels. When customers noticed and began telling her the drawings brightened their days, Mari realized she could use that hobby to connect with people. She hit a professional rough patch in her late 20s and began to chronicle her work on Instagram. Nearly overnight, she became a sensation. Now when Mari Andrew posts something new, the Internet rejoices.
This book is organized by universal themes of becoming an adult–for example, loss, adventure, ambition. Within each chapter, Mari shares her personal experiences in never-before-seen essays, accompanied by spreads of her signature illustrations, 90 percent of which are brand new. Readers are bound to see some of themselves in this book, whether seeking advice on how to handle growing up, or just looking for a friend who can commiserate.
Maria Firkaly is the Community Relations Coordinator for the Andover Public Library. She is a lover of audiobooks and enjoys putting together book displays for library patrons to enjoy.